How To Handle Life’s Dis-appointments

What is dis-appointment?  It is a feeling of the defeat of an expectation, wish, desire, or intention.  The prefix “dis” means “away from.”  When we break down the actual meaning of disappointment, we find “AWAY FROM APPOINTMENT.”  Many times we find ourselves in dis-appointment because we are away from the appointment God has for us and away from who God has called us to be. 

Are you living with a sense of disappointment?  Perhaps it is not in something you have done or something that has been done to you, but more about whom you are or have become?  Whether we know it or not, our actions affect others and the actions of others affect us. We are not an island to ourselves.   Either directly or indirectly, these scenarios can leave us disappointed.

There is a lot of this going on in our world today.  We can get so wrapped up in what others think of us, even those who don’t even know us.    Do you feel disappointment in yourself because you wanted to be a better parent, spouse, or friend?  Maybe you feel as if you do not love God as you should, or God doesn’t do for you like He does for others and praying for any length of time without your mind drifting is seemingly impossible.  But, you put on a “happy face” and pretend as if all is well,  covering up the truth that you are hurting inside and find no sense of satisfaction in your life.  

This is not God’s plan for your life.  God is close to you.  The bible tells us in Proverbs 18:24 that “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  He will lead, guide, and direct you through all of life’s disappointments.  You can trust God and take Him at His word!

If we compare ourselves to others, regardless of the circumstances, we are guaranteed to be dis-appointed.  Why? Because when we are looking at the lives of those around us, we are missing the appointment that God has for us specifically.  We never set appointments in our lives and then sit in the office wishing we were there for the same reason someone else is! No!  We are there for a specific reason, unique to ourselves, not someone else.  And if you try to change the reason you are there, you will walk away not only dis-appointed, but completely confused and upset because you didn’t get what YOU went for to begin with.

When you have an appointment and something happens to keep you from getting to that appointment, what do you do?  You call and reschedule.  That’s right, just a simple phone call will get you back “on the books” so to speak.   We are told in Philippians 1:6 “God began a good work in YOU.  And I am sure that He will carry it on until it is completed. That will be on the day Jesus Christ returns.” If you are feeling like you have missed that “appointment” in your life, don’t stay in that disappointment.  Call on your Father God.  He will quickly reschedule and get you back on track. 

Where does disappointment come from?

Many people think that disappointment is directly related to lack of self-esteem or self-acceptance.  While that may play a small part, there is a much larger issue.  A feeling of disappointment is not the problem.  We are all going to be disappointed at one time or another.  We live in a fallen world and bad things happen to good people all too often.  The issue is not with disappointment itself.  The issue is how we handle it.  If we handle disappointment by closing ourselves off to others, or getting angry at God, then we do not understand what the bigger issue is.  

In John 10:10 (NLT) we read “A thief’s purpose is to STEAL, is to KILL and to DESTROY. But My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”   

There is a thief, the devil, who wants to STEAL your peace, KILL your joy, and DESTROY your hope!  When disappointment comes, we often relate it back to something that we may have done or not done to cause it.  We can begin to throw ourselves a giant “pity party” as we begin to think God must not love us as much as He loves others because if He did then He wouldn’t have let this happen.   But when we remember that God’s purpose is to give us a rich and satisfying life we won’t want to have a “pity party.”

In I Timothy 6:17 (NIRV) Paul preaches “Command people who are rich in this world not to be proud.  Tell them not to put their hope in riches.  Wealth is uncertain.  Command those who are rich to put their hope in God.  He richly provides us with everything to enjoy.”

It is God’s intention for us to have a life of enjoyment, fulfilling each and every “appointment” that He has set in motion. 

Disappointment comes from our failure to understand who God created us to be.  Let us not forget that Jeremiah 1:5 (NIRV) says “Before I formed you in your mother’s body, I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart to serve Me.  I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.”   

Let’s break this down.  Three things are obvious in this scripture. 

I CHOSE YOU.  You must always remember that no matter what happens in your life, GOD LOVES YOU, HE ACCEPTS YOU JUST AS YOU ARE, AND HE DOES NOT CONDEMN YOU. 

Ephesians 1:4-5 (NIRV) says “God chose us to belong to Christ before the world was created.  He chose us to be holy and without blame in His eyes.  He loved us.  So He decided long ago to adopt us.  He adopted us as His children with ALL the rights children have.  He did it because of what Jesus Christ has done.  It pleased God to do it.” 

I Peter 2:9 (NIRV) says “But God chose you to be His people.  You are royal priests.  You are a holy nation.  You are God’s special treasure.  You are all these things so that you can give Him praise.  God brought you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”

I SET YOU APART God has gifted you and blessed you uniquely for a purpose.

Ephesians 1:3 (NIRV) says “Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  He has blessed us with every spiritual blessing.  Those blessings come from the heavenly world.  They belong to us because we belong to Christ.”

Ephesians 2:10 (NIRV) tells us “We are God’s creation.  He created us to belong to Christ Jesus.  Now we can do good works.  Long ago God prepared these works for us to do.”

I APPOINTED YOU Never forget that you are here on assignment, for a purpose, to represent God.

Romans 8:30 (NIRV) tells us “And those God has planned for, He has also appointed to be saved.  Those He has appointed, He has made right with Himself.  To those He has made right with Himself, He has given His glory.”

When disappointment comes, and it will at some point, we have to know how to respond and not react.  Reaction equals more disappointment.  When we react to disappointment with anger and upset, our adversary, the devil, has a party of his own!  If he can get you to focus on the disappointment, he will then get you to focus on all of the lies that he whispers (and sometimes screams) in your ears.  “God must not love me!”  “God doesn’t care about the things that are important to me!”  Those lies are from the very pit of hell and the sooner you recognize it, the sooner you get past the disappointment. 

Instead of reacting to a disappointment, respond with the Word!  It will work EVERY SINGLE TIME!  Remind yourself (and the devil) that YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE CHOSEN! YOU ARE SET APART! YOU ARE APPOINTED!  And instead of having a “pity party,” have a “PRAISE PARTY!”

It is difficult to understand why disappointment comes.  We don’t understand why we even have to experience it at all!  But what we must remember is that the bible says in Romans 8:28 (NIRV) “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.  He appointed then to be saved in keeping with His purpose.” 

Friends, God will take every single disappointment in your life and use it for your good!  Even when we don’t understand and can’t make sense of a certain situation, it is so important for us to remember what the word of God says to us and about us! 

I am reminded of the scripture in Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIRV) that says “My thoughts are not like your thoughts.  And your ways are not like My ways,” announces the Lord.  “The heavens are higher than the earth.  And My ways are higher than your ways.  My thoughts are higher than your thoughts.”  It brings peace to know that even when we do not understand, God certainly does! 

Do me a favor.  Imagine yourself looking through the end of a drinking straw. You have to close one eye and squint with the other just to see through the narrow space.  You really can’t see much looking through the end of a straw.  Now imagine taking the straw away and looking around.  The picture is much bigger right?  Disappointment is like looking through the end of a straw with one eye closed…we just can’t see much purpose through that tiny space and if we are not careful, that is what we will focus on because that is what WE SEE.  But when we take that straw down…that is what GOD SEES!  Even when we don’t understand and we can’t see a reason for it, we can trust that God sees the “bigger picture.”

In order for us to be able to RESPOND to life’s disappointments with the right attitude, we have to do a few things.  Consider the points below:

  • Recognize and understand your true identity – YOU ARE CHOSEN!  

Meditate on that one truth throughout your day to day activities and it will not only change your ATTITUDE toward disappointment, it will change your RESPONSE! 

  • Have a vision of your God-given gift
  • Believe that you have the ability to fulfill that gift
  • Live by the laws and principles that protect that gift
  • Plan around your gift and surround yourself with the right people and not “gift killers”

Remember friends, God’s Word tells us in II Timothy 3:1-5 (NIRV)Here is what I want you to know. There will be terrible times in the last days. People will love themselves. They will love money. They will brag and be proud. They will tear others down. They won’t love others. They won’t forgive others. They will tell lies about people. They will be out of control. They will be wild. They will hate what is good. They will turn against their friends. They will act without thinking. They will think they are better than others. They will love what pleases them instead of loving God. They will act as if they were serving God. But what they do will show that they have turned their backs on God’s power. Have nothing to do with these people.”

  • Be persistent – Never give up!
  • Persevere – EVEN WHEN IT’S HARD
  • Pray for your gift and purpose and allow God to REFINE & DEFINE IT!

It is so important for us to understand that disappointment is going to come.  BUT GOD IS GOOD.  Life is hard sometimes.  BUT GOD IS GOOD

Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIRV) “I know the plans I have for you,” announces the Lord. “I want you to enjoy success.  I do not plan to harm you.  I will give you hope for the years to come.  Then you will call out to me.  You will come and pray to me. And I will listen to you.  When you look for me with all your heart, you will find me.”

When you realize your God given appointment, it will become more difficult for you to be disappointed or live in dis-appointment.  Being at the center of what God is doing is the Cure for all of life’s disappointments. 

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